Simple lessons of Parenting...

I think I just had a breakthrough today -- or at least I just recognized it anyway.  While preparing to cook lunch, I noticed something liquid coming out of the corner "appliance garage".  (That's what the cabinet people call it - it's where we keep the blender, the mixer, and a variety of other things that have no place to live.)  I open up the garage, stick my finger in the liquid, notice the sticky consistency, and smell it expecting the pleasant aroma of vanilla.  You see, I bought about 5 bottles of REAL vanilla (not imitation) for $1.00 when the Food Giant was going out of business.  I thought it was too good to pass that up.  I have them stored in the appliance garage.  Imagine my surprise when I experienced the pungent smell of  "YUK!  I don't know what it is"!  Now my mind is reeling, trying to imagine how this could have happened.  I begin taking all of the bottles of boxed vanilla and soft drink huggies (yeah right - I don't think any of them have actually seen a soft drink) out of the garage, and find a bottle of gourmet balsamic vinegar, lying on it's side.  The reason it has leaked is, it has a wooden cork, with a glass spout sticking out of the top, which is now broken.  Then I remember last night, that I made Davis fix his own smoothie, which required that he get the blender out of the garage.  I told him to be careful because there was lots of stuff in there.

Soooo, next I call him in to the kitchen to show him what has happened and inform him that HE has to clean it up.  Needless to say, he was not happy, and here begins the time when the whining ensues........

Now I need to back up.  Davis slept in until about 10:45 this morning.  It's OK.  It's summer.  The problem I have been having with him -- he gets up, makes his way to the kitchen, says "good morning", then proceeds to turn on the TV and log on to XBOX Live to start playing video games.  This is a daily occurrence in our house.  That is  unless he has done something to lose gaming privileges.  Richard and I have worried a lot lately about his incessant gaming - on the TV, on the computer, on Facebook.  Now add to that XBOX Live where he has access to a whole community of people we don't know.  I felt a little more at ease when, as he was signing up for it, with our permission, that it required me to create an account that would be linked to his so we could manage his activity there, including parental controls.  It also limits the information available to anyone out there in that they only know his screen name - nothing else.  Of course he is also hooked up to a headset through which he can talk to and listen to other people as they play each other on these games.  But I digress.......


Davis will turn on the TV before he tends to basic things like...... eating breakfast.  This morning, I stopped him as he turned on the TV.  "No gaming until you have eaten breakfast."  A simple request right?  One would think.  However, he goes to the pantry after I have made several suggestions for breakfast - cereal, smoothie, toast.  He then decides he wants spaghetti O's since it's so close to lunch.  OK.  He sets the can on the counter and coasts over to the TV.  Me:  "I said NO GAMING until after you eat!"  Davis:  "I know I just wanted to see who is on!"  Mind you he HAS already turned on the xbox console, so he can hear people talking, and he knows his friend Griffin is online.  Me: "Too bad, eat first"  He mopes into the kitchen, opens and heats up the spaghetti O's, then proceeds to take it into the living room to "eat".  He puts the bowl on the table next to him and tunes in to the game.  I go in the living room and stand right in front of him.  "I said no gaming until AFTER you have eaten, not WHILE you are eating."  That is followed by a very strong suggestion that he turn off the TV, which he does.  He then continues to sit in the living room to eat.  Now is about the time that I find the liquid oozing from the cabinet.  "DAVIS!!!!  COME HERE!!!"  I show him the mess, tell him he has to clean it up, and he tries to start right then.  Bless his heart.  He IS trying to behave.  I tell him to bring his bowl to the kitchen to finish eating, then he can clean it up.  NO WHINING!!!    I couldn't believe it!

Now he DID ask for help, which I provided to him in the form of telling him how he might go about cleaning up the mess.  He gagged and gasped for air as the balsamic vinegar hit water and the fumes just about suffocated us both.  I stuck to my guns though, and made him finish the job.  THAT is the breakthrough I have perceived.  He actually took care of something I asked him to do on the very first time without (much) complaint.

Those of you reading this will either say "Yay!" along with me, or will see the failure of the whole video gaming enforcement debacle.  That is a battle that hopefully will be mastered on another day.  And maybe even a blog topic in the near future.  It finally sunk in to me as a lesson in parenting.  I made a summer resolution to try to enforce more effectively my requests and discipline with Davis.  Maybe it's the fact that he's a boy, as so many people tell me.  Or maybe he is the second child and I have just been more lenient.  Or, there is always the chance that I have failed as a parent in being consistent with him.  Kelsey tells me that I try to treat him like her -- does she mean by treating him as if he is the same age?  or the same type kid as she was/is?  I don't know!  Regardless, at least in terms of Davis, I HAVE to be consistent in my dealings with him, no matter how tough it is.  As Richard reminds me, sometimes you have to dish out "tough love".    Sometimes I think it is getting easier until he dissolves - again - into manufactured tears of protest.  Meanwhile - I hope Davis' lesson was learned this time, and he will be more careful when taking things out of places that he has no idea of what is in there.  As well as the lesson of finishing the job of cleaning up.  That reminds me -- the contents of the appliance garage are still strewn all over the kitchen counter.  On to the next challenge!